Sometimes in your life, you need to take one step back and seize the roots of your behavior.
By that I mean, to understand and remember which are your most frequent thoughts whether you have succeeded in something or you have failed. How do you literally welcome success or punish your failures by words or thoughts?
Do you think that your successes are just pure luck, or that failure was expected from your family, friends, coworkers or so on? Why is it so?
There's nothing unusual in thinking like that, as you've been raised by stigmatizing mistakes.
You've been raised to be afraid of your mistakes, and that a success in your life isn't just yours but comes from the support of society or it is by them determined. The pattern of perceptional view is wrong. You want to do things on your own and feel good about it and not being called a 'person of vanity'.
Believe me, there is no vanity in feeling good in accepting who you are or what you've did with your own will and hands, and there is so much that you can do. An unbelievable wideness lies in your opportunities and power to change the way of perception of your life or things you do.
Once when you realize that, the path of our inner-self healing will begin.
By the picture I've posted above, I want to say that literally, your thoughts create your present and future like Louise Hay said in her book, and hundreds of people have confirmed. The key strategy is focusing on positive thoughts and exchange normal patterns of thinking by new ones. At start it sounds silly, but you can also print out this picture and put it in front of your monitor or in the kitchen, in bathroom and read it, be affirmative with it, and find a new sentence that is positive and of which you'll feel at least comfortable, such as.. "I choose positive thoughts for today, as they bring me joy" or
"I feel good today in order to make feel good people that surround me"
or you can come up with your goal sentence for the beginning of special day of yours, the day D in which you are willing to CHANGE your way of perception of your life, people and things in it :)
I AM CONFIDENT AND FREE TO GIVE MY LOVE TO PEOPLE THAT NEEDS IT, AS I AM OPEN TO RECEIVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF GIVEN!